Charming

written by liz on Saturday, August 09 2008

My sister Becky is here for a visit and Sam is making sure the second day of her visit is especially draining. First, we took him to his swim lesson. Of course he would not dive like he usually does. He must have known we were watching and waiting.  Alex's lesson is actually at a different pool where we plan to head next. Before going to Alex's lesson, Becky wanted to stop at Trader Joe's for a few things. Instead of having everyone get out of the car and deal with the commotion that would cause, we decided to drop her off and wait while she shopped.  As she was getting out of the car, the whining began: 'Why can't we go in mom?" "Why mom?"  'Whhhhhyyyyyyy?"  Becky then promised a "surprise" from the store because of the opposition coming from the back seat.  When she came out (it took her less time to go in, grab her few items and come back to the car than it would have taken all four of us to get out of the car and just get a cart) she revealed the "surprise." She bought them a bag of "Snapea Crisps" the yummy salty baked pea pods, they still complained  (even though those are one of their favorite things)! I started to sink down in my seat, embarrassed by their ungrateful response. Then they said they had wanted balloons. When I had heard enough.... I launched into a tirade about expectations. If you EXPECT a certain present you will always be disappointed, you should be grateful for what you get... I imagine myself as the "adult" voice in Peanuts cartoons. Mwah mwah mwah...  With the lecture still ringing in their ears (actually it was probably not in their ears at all, but it was ringing in my ears) we drove off to Alex's swim lesson. Once at the pool for Alex's lesson, I only had to warn Sam 15 times to stay away from the edge of the pool. Then it only took 15 minutes to lure him from the playground when we tried to leave. When we finally got Sam to the car, he proceeded to hang out around the the headlights stalling a little longer. Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3.

I finally walked over to see if I could coax him into the car, when he grabbed one of the mini wipers that goes over the headlight and snapped it off! Imagine a pot of boiling water in place of my head. The pot is hotter than hot, the lid is on and it's wildly boiling, water spilling over the sides.... I actually shouted "God damn kids!" up to the heavens and grabbed him by the hand which I slapped. Another tirade ensued about respecting other peoples property all while I scanned the parking lot for horrified onlookers. 

Once in the car, driving down the road again, I angrily demanded an apology out if him. Alex had the nerve to start a debate about wether we should still  go out to lunch, which was our plan before all this #$%^ started to unravel. I was really hungry and decided Sam wasn't going to ruin my lunch. Plus, the last thing I wanted was to go home and start making lunch for everyone!  Looking down at the broken wiper, I shook my head in disbelief and drove to the restaurant.  Lunch was fine, as was a walk in the park after lunch, not much to report except Sam was now too tired to walk and feigns complete exhaustion by slumping his back, bending his knees and pretending he cannot take another step.  "Carry me mom" he moans. Finally, I relent and let him climb onto my back for a piggy back ride. He practically strangles me while trying to hold on (around my neck) and he struggles to wrap his legs around me-- since his legs don't really fit around me. I awkwardly shlump off to the car and drive us home.

Once home, I wish I could say the day started to get better but it did not. I took a few moments to do some online banking after I put Sam down to nap.  That's when I realized someone has made an unauthorized charge for $1007.47 to Victoria Secret on our debit card! While I am on the phone with customer service, Sam comes sheepishly out of his room and says he is not tired. I spend a half an hour on the phone with the bank and then 2 more hours putting Sam back in his bed every 10 minutes. The customer service rep for our bank cards asked me if "the other signer" (husband Michael) might have authorized the charge. I told her he was out of town on business. Then I imagined her thinking he was probably having an affair and buying a thousand dollars worth of satin panties for his mistress. Thankfully, anyone who knows Michael knows he just would never do that (um, he opposes jay walking).  So I ask her to hold on while I call Michael from my cell phone and ask him about the charge. Of course, he says he has not been in a Victoria Secret in years. I get back on the line with the customer service rep and tell her what he said. Chuckling she said: "no presents for you today, huh?'

Apparently not.

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